HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Randomize
