you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize