dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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