My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
This is my gift to your gina
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
