I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
