Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
do nipples grow back?
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
