Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
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I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
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Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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