yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
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