Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
