I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
