your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
