plz talk dirty to me
I just saw a hot homeless man
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Randomize
