Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
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