i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
My life is pants optional.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
