Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
