let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Randomize
