i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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