She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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