I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
this is an emotional support booty call
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