I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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