The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need a sexual gate keeper
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize