Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
