I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize