everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
