His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
