I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
