Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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