Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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