I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
