I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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