Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
