He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
