Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
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