his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
