Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
