You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
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