dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Randomize
