OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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