This dress was meant to end up on your floor
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
