Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
