Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Pants 0. Shit 1.
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
