Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
