i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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