She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
