I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
