I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize