I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize