I think scott just propositioned me for sex
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
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My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
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Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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