I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I just googled if crying burns calories
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
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