I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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