when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
He shit in the fireplace
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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