Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
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