He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
