Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
