Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
