new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
