he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize