Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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