I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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