I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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