Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
did i just pee glitter
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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