So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Randomize