Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
i now understand why vodka
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
