If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you told grandpa to call you daddy
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize