not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Randomize
