Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
