Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
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