At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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