dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
